So little update..

God I suck at updating, I should really just learn to accept it. En tout cas, here goes..

I'm recently out of a seemingly never-ending 9 month relationship. I put up with so much shit, 8 months more than I should have, and am very glad to have it over with. I finally feel like myself again, rid of the chains; I feel free again. Which is an AMAZING change from the last 9 months. I cannot even begin to express how great it feels to be free. I think only someone who has been oppressed or suppressed themselves can truly understand. Especially being with someone who has so many issues, and makes life so difficult, it's nice to be with myself again, and my lighthearted easygoing take on life.

Seriously though, I think the next person that I'm with, which will be no time soon, that will most definitely be the selling quality: easy-going. See, my ex had me fooled into believe she was like that in the first month, but after that her true colours slowly emerged. I need to be with someone who makes life easier, not harder. Someone who will had to the fun going-out, not take away. And someone who will expand my horizons, not take away from them. (someone mentally stable would be cool too)

Anyways.. Throughout this whole ordeal I've also met a bunch of new people, realized who my true friends were, and found new ones. All in all, one of the best moves of my life.

(and my ex, to make herself happy, has launched herself strait into another relationship, and is "in love" and planning trips together already..gee wonder which one of us will benefit more from this in the long run...)

The Great Love Affair

God, I miss, so much, having someone to talk to. Someone who actually wants to have an intellectual conversation. Not that conversations with Ty, the only person left here this summer isn't stimulating, lol. And Kayla, I tried talking to her the other day about this book I'm reading, and my thoughts about it and all that. She just stared back at me with the same blank look I give her when she starts talking about some complex procedure at work. I'm just at that point in the summer where I can't wait to go back to university.

This book I have been reading, is called Passionate Minds. I've been putting off reading for a little while because of school and stuff, but I finally have the chance to read it now, since I'm not in France :/. Its about Emilie du Chatelet, Voltaire, and "the Great Love Affair of the Enlightenment". It's so interesting. It's written like a novel, about their lives, their work, their love affair, their influence on each other, etc, but its actually all based on facts from letters and manuscripts and stuff like that. It's also uncovering a lot of information about Emilie du Chatelet, that hasn't been revealed before. Like how apparently Einstein based a great deal of his theory of relativity on her work. It talks about the great contribution she had towards the enlightenment and Newton's work and that, but how she didn't get credit or recognition for any of it because she was a woman in the 18th century.

Best book I've read in a while.

2 hours and counting..

You know, I'm beginning to think that she is just incapable of having 1 beer and leaving. Like, Every single time. I'm such an idiot for waiting every time too. I should just go have fun with someone who actually enjoys my company.

Why do I feel like this?

Like am I a selfish person or something? Why is it that I get upset when she goes out for beers with her friends or friends from work on paydays? It's not the drinking thing, at least I'm pretty sure. It's not that fact that its not with me, thats for sure. It's not even that I don't have anything to do, cuz I do. Is it that she's having fun without me?? It better not be. I mean what kind of a girlfriend gets upset or jealous when her g/f has fun without her, right? A possesive crazy clingy girlfriend that you would hate! I mean I would hate it. I did hate it. Is that what I am?

On the other hand, is that really a crazy thing? Certain friends dont like it when their partners go out drinking without them either. Or go have alot of fun without them, especially while they're in the same city, at home, stomach killing them, watching a friends re-run that they've seen a couple dozen times. Not that that is referring to anyone in particular. Am i just out of line? ...Anyone?

I really wish I had someone to talk to that was in a good healthy relationship. That could tell me I'm being crazy, or tell me that its founded. Could tell me to go talk to Kayla, or could tell me to get over it. Instead I have this blog. That's right, I have YOU. YOU who is actually no one, because it took me this long to actually finally make this god damned blog lol. (the old one expired from lack of use) So hopefully I'll keep posting, cuz I kinda like having some(no)one to talk to.. haha. But seriously, I guess it just gives me time to think things over myself.

In all seriousness though, when someone says, "I'm going out for a couple beers," do you expect it to last 5 hours?